"Sad Boy"

Last week, Nathan was "Bat Boy". This week, he is "Sad Boy". Sometimes, he becomes inconsolable ... I think he must like the sound of his own crying. Anyway, Mark found a funny way to get Nathan to stop crying ... he takes a picture of Nathan crying and then shows it to him. "Do you think that you're sad enough in this picture, or should we try again?", he asks. Soon, Nathan becomes more concerned with making "good" sad pictures than with being sad! Chalk one up for Dad!

Nathan is sad after falling down and

Nathan is sad after fighting with Zeke

Zeke's Birthday

Well, our baby Zeke turned two on Friday. We threw him a little party on Saturday. We couldn't get him to smile when we sang happy birthday. He just stood there looking stoic. It was pretty cute. He spent the rest of the weekend singing the happy birthday song though, so he must have had an okay time.

"Stoic Zeke"

Backwards Nick

Sometimes, I play a game with the kids to get them dressed. I get out clean underwear and instead of telling them to put it on, I just ask, "Do you want this on your head or on your bum?" I do the same thing with each article of clothing. The sillier the choices, the more fun. Well, Nick decided to take me at my word!

Nick with his clothes on "backwards?"

It's a GIRL!

Life has been very exciting lately, and especially this week. I didn't mention before that in the midst of all the chaos, I got pregnant again (surprise!) This is our fourth and last. Anyway ... I've always wanted a girl, but I didn't know how much until we went to our ultrasound. When the ultrasound technician said it was a girl, I felt tears welling up inside my eyes!!! The doctor confirmed that our new little one will be a girl. I'm so excited. I'm already having dreams of making her a blessing dress.

We've had her first name picked out forever. Aleza. We still need a middle name ... hmm. Aleza Ashley? Aleza Suzanne? Aleza Marie? Pepto Bismal pink has never been quite so attractive before!

Bat Boy

Mark bought me a new digital camera as a belated Mother's Day gift. I think that's one of the catalysts of this blog starting again. Anyway, it's been fun to take pictures.

Our little Nathan has such an imagination. He loves to dress up. When he's at Grandma Olga's house, he'll be batman even during mealtimes. I think this picture sums up our "Nate-a-kins".

Our Beautiful Baby Boy

Okay, so he's really a toddler now. He'll be two on Friday ... I can't believe it. Here are some pictures of him.

My niece Maviny and Zeke shortly before Zeke's first surgery


Zeke right after surgery


Zeke two weeks after surgery


"Dr." Nathan checking Zeke's heart on Friday night

As you can see, Zeke looks incredible. He still has some surgeries left, but not until he's a few years older. The outside of his mouth is repaired, but the inside is still open. So far, he's been a real trooper. He's such a tough little kid.

My Return to Earth

Well, I guess I'm back. The past two years have been extremely difficult. First, we had a cleft baby. He's so beautiful, but it was a very traumatic experience for me. It's so hard to watch your baby go through surgery after only a few months of life.

In the process, I think that must have triggered something else. Anyway, I was struggling so much with postpartum depression and anxiety. It got to the point where I had so much anxiety that I couldn't even think and I had a really hard time eating. The strange thing was that I was so anxious about specific things that didn't make sense to worry about. Well, I was diagnosed by three different professionals with OCD. I always thought of OCD as some sort of perfectionistic ritual type thing, I never realized it was an anxiety disorder until I experienced it. I felt so much anxiety that it was physically painful - panic attacks - the whole thing. Yuck!

Now the stories of my great-grandmother being committed for pushing a bed down the street make sense. She was terrified that it was contaminated. I was always afraid I would become insane like her ... I guess I did inherit the gene. But, who would have thought that it was really OCD and not insanity ... which is worse anyway? Just kidding.

Anyway, with a year of medicine and therapy, I'm feeling better than I have since junior high school. Wow. By the way, therapy has been way different than I thought. Exposure and response prevention therapy is what has been found to help the most with OCD. In other words, I get to do things like touch public toilet seats and asbestos and other yucky stuff without washing my hands or praying that I don't get sick. It's been an interesting journey.